LEAKED: The players' guide to Sens road trips

by Joe Boughner

Most fans of the game, even casual ones, know some of the perks of travelling as an NHL player: five-star hotels, chartered flights, and cowboy boot shopping, to name just a few. But few fans know what it's really like on the road, especially since every team has their own goofy rituals and long-standing traditions.

In our continuing question to provide Sens fans with insider info, we did a little light hacking of email accounts poking around and we found the top secret, never before seen by the public Players' Guide to Ottawa Senators Road Trips.

Here are a few of the highlights:

• Attire: NHL tradition dictates that suits are to be worn any time a player is in the public eye. We recommend choosing from designers such as Gucci, Dolce & Gabbana or the new formal collection from Eric Gryba's Capital Waterfowling.
• Pranking: Generally speaking, some degree of pranking is expected on road trips. However, don't go over the top. Pranks should entertain, not injure. Nobody likes when someone misses the mark on a joke.
• Team Dinners: While teams typically enjoy high-end steakhouses or fine Italian dining, choosing such locations can be isolating and intimidating for younger players. Consider incorporating the occasional family restaurant into the mix for the rookies. 

As a rookie, Lazar has to finish at least seven more bites of his spaghetti
before he can go back to the ball pit

• Curfew: Road curfew is 11 pm. This curfew is strictly enforced and will be monitored by Chris Phillips, who is usually up for his second trip to the bathroom at that point anyway.
• Miscellaneous city-specific rules:
• New York City: Please refrain from hanging 10 feet behind Jared Cowen and yelling "Hey Jerry, where's Elaine?" when passing by a crowd of tourists.
• Detroit: As per ownership's new rule, anyone caught saying anything remotely complimentary about Detroit will immediately be sent to Binghamton.
• Winnipeg: Yes, you have to go to Winnipeg.
• Dallas: See Detroit.
• Anaheim / San Jose / Los Angeles: Out of respect for our fans, we have a team-wide Instagram ban for west coast road trips during the winter months.